Sunday, April 6, 2014

Forward... Wherein we Discuss Everything that is Not Backward

I wasn't always an aardvark. I was actually born in Prague under the name of Franz Kafka. Not that Franz Kafka. The other one. But then, I made the mistake of eating two smoked meat sandwiches before tucking myself into bed.

I woke up the next morning and I was an aardvark. Snout and all. And there was this irresistible craving for ants. Ant pancakes. Ant lasagna. You name it, I ate it. 

In a fit of pique, I changed my name to Al. I tried changing my name outside of the pique, but it didn't work.

I know what you’re thinking. “This guy is one wrench short of a toolbox.” But you’d be wrong, and I’m here to prove it.

It all started with the garbage…